This week’s assignment has me stumped once again. The blog post we are supposed to write is on the topic of “demotivation”, specifically one of those moments where you go into a learning situation neutral or highly motivated and something the instructor says or does turns you off totally.
I think we can all recognize that feeling, and I think my difficulty in coming up with an idea for the post is that I’ve had it happen too often. Of course, as a person who suffers from depression, finding motivation to do anything is pretty hard to begin with, so that’s also part of it.
For example, there was no “girls are bad at math” moment where a teacher said something and I got turned off math. As a grade 4 student I was too anxious to respond to a math problem out loud under pressure in front of a crowd of kids or do a set number of problems in a set amount of time, so I was labelled “bad at math” and internalized that. My parents felt like I wasn’t trying hard enough because just doing math problems as homework made me anxious. I am probably not inherently better or worse at math than your average person, but my teacher’s pedagogical choices made me suffer unnecessarily and every grade after that I slipped further and further behind because of my anxiety.
I definitely know I’ve had moments in classes where a teacher has said or done something and I just immediately checked out like “NOPE” but the number of times I’ve enjoyed and felt motivated by a class are far outnumbered by those times I’ve been barely going through the motions. So I’ll have to keep thinking.
Western Canadian Literature: “The prairie is cold and empty, like my marriage.”
Eastern Canadian Literature: “The sea is cold and empty, like my marriage.”